- Age / Gender:
- 25, Male
- Cross Lanes West Virginia
- All Stats >
I am a writer an author. There isn't much I can say with 255 characters and only 160 remaining. I love music, I love games and most of all I love ponies! My emotions are what guide my stories as they are more powerful than my creative mind itself! :) /)
- Community Stats
Level 1 Art Lover
Ranked as Civilian
Contact Info / Websites
I'm really not sure why I'm typing this I just am so well who cares.
I learned something very important yesterday...
So I'd just woken up at like and I am sitting at the kitchen table when Sam my girlfriend suddenly pops up in front of me as if from out of nowhere causing my body to flinch she'd startled me and she says to me. "Hi! Jason what's up?" I turn to her and stare at her for a brief moment I'm sure anger and deep sadness was visible upon my face so then I say. "What's up... WHATS UP! I'm burning up over here!" Finally she realized that I'd just spilled smoldering hot coffee on my boxers right on my junk so you know that hurt like HELL! I think after a moment or two she'd finally realized what she'd done. Sam quickly darted over towards my fridge she pulls out a bag of ice from the freezer and throws it at me and I'm still fumbling around trying to deal with the blinding pain in my crotch when suddenly without my knowledge my junk was stricken down by what now seems like an over-sized bag of hardened ice. It was like one big ice chunk colliding with my tenderness and I swear to god my heart was going to shoot out of my chest. So now here I am rolling around on the floor in absolute pain my life is flashing before my very eyes as I see a luminescent light loom over me. "Oh god this is it I'm dying!" After a minute or so I realize that it wasn't the gates of hell opening up to drag me down beneath no it was the light illuminating from the freezer that Sam was bent half way into. I'm doing my best to crawl over to her but multiple blinding waves of pain continued paralyzing my movement capabilities. Finally I found myself just behind Sam who turns around and looks down to see me wallowing in pain and she's like. "Hey Jason are you alright?" My face is plastered into the floor I believe I'm missing one of my nuts and she's asking me if I'm alright so naturally I sighed heavily in grave annoyance. "Yes Sam I'm just on the floor because I like the smoothness of it....." She's probably starring at the back of my head then she says. "Really?" Causing me to sigh again I roll over on my back and look up to Sam who is drinking my last Fuzzy Navel my mouth drops and my eyes widen wide in deep anger. I slowly close my eyes letting lose yet another sigh I gently place a hand upon my chest I could feel my heart pounding and pounding loudly it was. Finally after a minute or so my eyes shoot open I glared up to Sam and asked. "How in the hell did you get into my house?" She chuckled lightly as she tossed the empty Fuzzy Navel bottle into the trash. "Oh silly you left your door unlocked so I figured I'd let myself in!" My mind suddenly imploded I laid my head back against my hard tile floor I could just barely hear the faint sound of ticking over the psychotic ringing in my ears I raised my right arm and look at my watch and it reads I dropped my arm to the floor and leaned my head against the tile as I muttered softly. "Someone please just kill me!"
So yeah what I learned today it "Never EVER Forget to Lock your door because I swear to GOD it will haunt you if you do! I also learned to look before you drink!"
Well there you are that's what I've learned in the past 24 hours. Holy crap my balls still ache!
Anyway I'm still not sure why I typed all of this up I just felt like sharing! :) /)